I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
