And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
