I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
