He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
