I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
