Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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