He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
