i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
