youre lurking in front of me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
