Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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