That's when you crack a 10am beer
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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