I wish my penis had an off switch
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
