I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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