are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
