Can Purell be used as lube?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
