Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
