And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
