they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
