let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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