my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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