life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
