my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
