he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
