who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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