This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
