i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
