made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize