Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm like, not good at living.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
