Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
