Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
