hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
