i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
