hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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