Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
