we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
