cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
