Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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