nut hugger
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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