this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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