I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
