I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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