Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
