it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
