bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize