He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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