babies were throwing up all over the place
i love accidental penises.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
