found the other keg... it's in the tree
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
