R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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