Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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