Barsexuality is the new black.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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