so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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