Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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