you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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