So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
