you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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