i will never coherently bang her
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
