I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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