So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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