ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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