I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
