Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
