Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
