Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
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Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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