At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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